Ewww!

Came across this pix on the net and just have to share it with you:



"You've been in the trash again, haven't you
Raccoon Man?!?
You promised!"

Wonder Woman's expression never fails to crack me up.
Hope it makes your day too.

Edu-nurturing

[Published on 18 Jan, 1998]
Here is the Education Ministry’s 888 list...

At the end of primary school, pupils should:
1. Be able to distinguish right from wrong
2. Be able to build friendships with others
3. Have a lively curiosity about things
4. Be able to think for and express themselves
5. Take pride in their work
6. Have cultivated healthy habits
7. Love Singapore
8. Have learnt to share and put others first




At the end of secondary school, students should:
1. Have moral integrity
2. Have care and concern for others
3. Be able to work in teams and value every contribution
4. Possess a broad-based foundation for further education
5. Believe in their ability
6. Have an appreciation for aesthetics
7. Know and believe in Singapore
8. Be enterprising and innovative




At the end of junior college, students should:

1. Be resilient and resolute
2. Have a sound sense of social responsibility
3. Understand what it takes to inspire and motivate others
4. Have an entrepreneurial and creative spirit
5. Be able to think independently and creatively
6. Have a zest for life
7. Understand what it takes to lead Singapore
8. Strive for excellence

Open Sesame

[Published on 18 Dec, 1997]
The door of an MRT train was dislodged, seconds before it pulled
into City Hall station on Monday during the evening rush hour.
The dangling door damaged two pairs of platform screen doors at the station.
The incident, which happened at about 5.15 pm, disrupted services between
Newton and Marina Bay stations for about 15 minutes. No one was hurt.
SMRT said it has now tightened handover procedures with external parties.
Its engineers have also re-examined the design of the train doors and
confirmed that when installed correctly, they were safe and secure and
would not fall off, it added.


What goes up must come down

[Published on 19 Dec, 1997]

Branching out

[Published on 26 Jan, 1997]
Singaporeans snapping up houses on the Gold Coast

What's mine is yours

[Published on 19 Dec, 1997]
A newspaper report that said a stomach bacteria, commonly
found in Asians, could be the result of communal eating habits,
which include sharing the same bowls.
But, germs or no germs, many Singaporeans felt that insisting
on separate portions was more fodder than food for thought.
A vice-chairman of the Singapore Federation of Chinese Clan
Associations' youth group said, "We've been eating this way for
thousands of years, and there's nothing wrong. This is the way we
cultivate a sense of unity, helping one another.
"It's in Western culture where everyone eats his own share.
I wouldn't want to instil individualism through eating habits,
I don't want barriers with my family."
The good news is: doctors agree that chances are slim that one can
catch the stomach bug through communal eating habits.

Cartoon Caption Contest, 20 April 2008



This is the winning entry:
"Dad was right -- to move up in life, I must get out
of this shitty job and onto the fast track..."
- Keok Tong San

Here are the shortlisted ones:
"Big bag of money, check. Underground escape route
from vault, check. Now where's the getaway car?"
- Julie Chan Xiao Wen

"No wonder the 'Underground' Passes cost less
than the Ground Passes!"
- Kumar Sundram

"Hmm, so the sewage system at Whitney Road
links directly to the Singapore Grand Prix."
- Melvin Lam

"Phew, managed to escape from that car accident.
Now, where am I teleported to?"
- Vivian Lo Yue Ning

A safety measure

Chocolate lure

[Published on 7 Dec, 1997]
Five per cent of Americans believe that giving a box of chocolate
improves their chances of getting their partners to have sex,
an industry survey shows.
Men are twice as likely as women to believe boxed chocolate
increases their chances of sex - 8 per cent of men versus
3 per cent of women.
Nonetheless, 68 per cent of those surveyed said giving chocolates
would not improve chances for sex.
"There is a correlation" between chocolates and sex, said
a representative of one of the companies involved in the survey.
"We wanted to know how many men or women would acknowledge
that fact. Some did, but there were quite a few who probably
believe it but don't admit it."

Some ‘way-out’ ideas

[Published on 12 Feb, 1998]
Changi Airport held a first worldwide contest for ideas
on new features for the third terminal. The contest was organised
by the Civil Aviation Authority of Singapore, which received
more than 12,000 entries from all over the world.

Here are three wacky suggestions:

A huge map of Singapore near the landing area so that passengers
get to see a miniature version of the island before they land.



A gatehold area that is built in the likes of an aeroplane’s
seating plan.
Passengers could then be teleported into the
aircraft without
moving an inch as in a science fiction film.




A swimming pool below the departure level, which
has a glass flooring.
Passengers will find their journey
to the departure gates less boring.


Dancing with the politicians

[Published on 31 Aug, 1997]
Filipinos love diminutives, and opposition politicians have
coined a brand new one - "cha-cha", meaning "charter change".
The phrase refers to what they say - bitterly - is an effort to
change the Constitution to allow President Fidel Ramos to stay
in power beyond the expiry of his term next June. They believe
the President's supporters have induced hundreds of congressmen
and senators to "dance" to their tune - dancing the "cha-cha",
of course.
The analogy could be accurate. During the first days of the debate
over the issue, observers noted a large, attentive turnout in the House.

A rude shock

[Published on 2 Feb, 1998]
A device which can send 50,000 volts through a car steering wheel
and along the grasping fingers of a criminal has gone on sale in Britain.
The Auto Taser looked like an ordinary steering lock but acted as
a highly-charged deterrent.
The system, at first glance, looks like a traditional steering wheel lock.
If a thief breaks into the car, he triggers a loud alarm intended to
frighten him off and alert people nearby.
Five seconds after the alarm goes off, the device arms itself from three
nine-volt batteries, giving off a visible electric "arc".
Anyone grabbing the wheel or the lock will suffer a shock. The manufacturer
insists that involuntary muscular contractions will force the thief
to pull away his arm rather than endure a continuous shock.


Hmm... what happens if there is an authorised removal
of the vehicle in an emergency?

Horse-power

[Published on 23 Nov, 1997]
Horses outnumber tanks in the British army, a newspaper reported.
The Times said that a Domesday Book of national assets to be
published by the government showed that in April there were
396 Challenger tanks and 483 horses.
The paper added that the list, which only covers assets worth
over £500, would not list 1,800 army dogs and registered army mascots,
which include two goats, a ferret and a tiger.

Get Shorty

[Published on 20 Feb, 1998]
A person's height may be determined by the time of year they are born.
According to a research team at Vienna University Institute of
Human Biology, men born in springtime tend to be taller than
those born in the autumn.
The team found the pattern by studying the heights of 507,125
military conscripts measured when they were 18 years old.
The figures were taken from federal army registers over a period of
10 years.
The report: "There is clear evidence for a dependence of body height
at age 18 on month of birth. The link is presumably connected with the
annual cycle and could be connected with the light-dependent activity
of the pineal gland."
The gland produces the hormone melatonin - its concentration known to
vary according to the intensity of light - which, in turn, varies yearly.

Cartoon Caption Contest, 13 April 2008



This is the winning entry:

"So you still don’t believe in reincarnation,
guess what, I’m Mary, your late mother-in-law..."
- Zin Annuar B Mohd

Here are the shortlisted ones:
"Oh no, not dengue too..."
- Christine Yeo

"Remember me? I'm that little pesky fella
you tried to 'get rid of' just before that accident..."
- Zin Annuar B Mohd

"Okay, 206 broken bones... and dengue fever."
- Samantha Lu

"This anti-dengue campaign is getting ridiculous!"
- Low Beng Kheng

"For heaven's sake, you went for one of those facials?
I can't get a grip!"
- Lee Choon Ping

"Hey! It's rude to stare while I'm eating."
- Edwin Lau Tze Yang

"Oh man! How much blood have you lost
in the accident? Hope there are some left for me."
- Mubinul Haq Bin Hashim

"Wow! All-you-can-eat buffet!
Better call more friends."
- Tan Huang Ching

"If possible, cut down on the transfusions.
I don't really like mixed flavours..."
- Estee Wu

"Thank God it is not a bee!"
- Esther Chong

"With so many hotspots in Singapore,
this is the best I have found so far."
- Wai Fong Meng

"Measly Mozzie mauling my muzzle,"
mumbled Mummy.
- Peter Lai Yun Ying

"Finally, a mummy that has blood!"
- Gerald Eng

And my personal favourite
(unfortunately it didn't garner enough votes to win):
"After I'm finished with your nose,
your eyes will be NEXT!"
- Ong Pee Yeow