Equality? Erm...

[Published on 28 Aug, 2012]

The Singapore pledge:
"We, the citizens of Singapore,
pledge ourselves as one united people,
regardless of race, language or religion,
to build a democratic society
based on justice and equality
so as to achieve happiness, prosperity
and progress for our nation."

Back up a few lines to this one:
"based on justice and equality"
...unfortunately, that is not applicable if you are single.

Fall from above

[Published on 06 June, 2012]

Since as far back as 1989, there have been cases of maids falling
when they were cleaning their employers’ windows or putting out laundry,
sometimes while perching on ledges, stools or window sills.

And with employers saddled with much of the blame for the deaths,
the onus is on them to make sure that their domestic helpers stay safe.

The E$planade

[Published on January 10, 2002]

Though never a big fan of the Esplanade’s pointy shells, I am
actually smitten
by its exquisite interior. So when I learnt that
the arts centre is seeking assistance
in funding, I've decided
to help out with some money-making proposals.



GORGEOUS, PRACTICAL AND AN ENERGY-SAVER




Replace the ugly spikes with solar panels which absorb sunlight all year round
while giving shade to patrons inside the domes.

The energy converted would not only keep the centre running should another
islandwide blackout occur -- it will also help to save on electricity bills
in the long run.




 

A SHADY DEAL



So what to do with those spikes which were removed? Erect them along
the waterfront and charge anyone who wishes to use them as shelters.
Or weld two spikes together and start renting them as boats on Marina Bay.




 

"ESPLAN-ARD?"
"ESPLAN-AID?"




A surefire way to get more revenue is to quadruple ticket prices... but how
to justify that? By making the posh-sounding "Esplan-ARD" the official
pronunciation. The price hike is also applicable to refreshments sold there.

Only when it has broken even should it revert to the heartland-sounding
"Esplan-AID" and lower all prices for the average Singaporean.





BRANCHING OUT



How many average Singaporeans own tuxedos or gowns?
The Esplanade can set up a shop within its premises (preferably at the entrance)
and earn extra income by renting out glam attire to patrons.





MERCHANDISING
Another money-making area which the Esplanade can explore is
to sell souvenirs
to concert-goers. Not just any useless knick-knacks,
please. Here are some ideas:


The Esplanade Back Scratcher
TARGET: AH PEKS (Elderly uncles)



With its myriad spikes, it sure beats those hand-shaped
wooden scratcherswith only five measly prongs.

______________________________________


The Esplanade Feet Stimulator
TARGET: THE HEALTH-CONSCIOUS



Some people walk barefoot on pebbled paths as a form of
foot reflexology. Now they can also enjoy the same pressure
therapy at work, and in air-conditioned comfort too.

______________________________________


The Esplanade Diet Spoon
TARGET: THE BODY-CONSCIOUS



No matter how starved you are, a single scoop is all you
will take when you use this special spoon. Guaranteed.

______________________________________


The Esplanade Anti-Parking Device
TARGET: CONSTRUCTION COMPANIES / SEMI-D HOMEOWNERS



Fed-up with inconsiderate motorists who ignore your
"Private Property -- No Parking" sign? Avoid a stand-off with the police
by planting these tyre-shredders on the asphalt.

______________________________________


The Esplanade ‘Chope’-A-Seat

TARGET: EVERYBODY



You are alone in a crowded foodcourt and you’ve found the one empty seat.
But you can’t go buy your meal or the seat will be taken. What do you do?




Introducing the Esplanade ’Chope’-A-Seat -- a gadget that clamps to a stool,
giving you the assurance that when you return with your char kway teow,
that seat still remains yours...



...unless, of course, it is taken by someone with buns of steel.


SingTel wants to know its mobile customers intimately

[Published on 05 June, 2012]

The chief of SingTel's Digital Life divison says, "Different customers --
students, office workers, housewives and others -- need various kinds of
content in their daily lives. They will find us useful if we can offer them
the content they want every day when they need it."

By offering subscribers what they want, the telco hopes to improve
customer service, reduce customer churn and increase "stickiness" --
all of which would have an impact on profitability.

It's not me, it's you

[Published on 25 Aug, 2012]

Typical question at job interviews...

[Published on 21 July, 2012]