Cartoon Caption Contest, 14 September 2008

The winning entry:
"Why did you buy an iPhone? You don’t have an ear for music."
- Judy Leong

The shortlisted ones:
"I decided to abduct him because he is smarter and lighter
than the other species on earth..."
-Thomas Wu

"Wow! iPhone from earth. Does it include an 'Universal Plan'?"
- Leong Fook Cheong

"The queue stretched all the way to Jupiter!"
- Hoa Min Hui

Could have won...
"I found this on earth. Doesn't it bring back some memories...?"
- Zhi Hui

...but, thing is, many readers also wrote captions
similar to it.

Orang-utan tries to seduce scientist

[Published on 20 March, 1997]

An orang-utan being studied by scientists in the Borneo jungle
developed a crush on her psychologist and tried to seduce him.

Dr Gary Shapiro, vice-president of the Los Angeles-based Orang-Utan
Foundation International, developed a close relationship with the
female, Rinnie, when he tried to teach her sign language.

"On my 27th birthday she came up to me and actually greeted me as
I swam across the river. She took me by the hand, walked me across
a dry swamp, and took me behind a tree," he said. "There, on the ground,
she had constructed a day nest which was larger than the normal.
She lay down on the bed, spread her legs and started pulling me
towards her.

"It was a very definite proposition. I signed to her 'No' and she
looked at me with those big eyes. She knew I had scorned her.
From then on she was much colder, not nearly as affectionate and just
very businesslike, though she did get over it."

Dr Shapiro, married with a wife in California, described Rinnie as
"nice-looking and good-natured as orang-utans go".

Fellow orang-utan expert Dr Birtute Galdikas was said to have
joked on Dr Shapiro's return to their camp: "Gary, you should have
done it for science."

Prediction: Future Joy #12

When a Chinese wedding invitation states that the dinner starts at 7pm, all the guests show up at 7pm. No more wasting time waiting for one another.

Prediction: Future Joy #11

Text books and homework are all on DVDs,
spelling an end to heavy school bags.

Prediction: Future Joy #10

We have our very own glass biosphere which we can activate
when the haze or El Nino strikes again.

Cartoon Caption Contest, 07 September 2008

The winning entry:
"Maybe you should have swallowed your Ribena before sneezing..."
- Janice Tay

The shortlisted ones:
"I think someone vomitted blood when he heard that
the ERP rates are going up."
-Joyce Son Siew Peng

"Existential symbolism of pain?
More like accidental spillage of paint!"
- Aida Mekonnen

Could have won...
"Dear, didn't I sell this to the Karung Guni man last week?"
-Kimberly Ng

"How did our old place mat get up there?"
- Tiffany Leong

" Doesn't that resemble what our 2-year-old Johnnie did last week?"
- Chai Yok Mee

...unfortunately, many readers wrote the same
thing too.

An expensive meal

People who feed monkeys cause more harm than good, and anyone caught
doing so will be fined S$3,000.
(Please disregard the "S$250" part in the photo... the fine had increased
12-fold since this report was last published!)

To ensure that people get the message loud and clear, the National Parks Board
(NParks) is conducting regular raids, apart from monitoring closed-circuit
television cameras which were installed along Upper Thomson Road last year.

The "strong stand" is necessary because feeding monkeys creates several
problems. They become bold and aggressive, snatching food from people,
and even attacking them. Often, people who live on the fringe of nature
reserves bear the brunt of this behaviour.

The monkeys also become reliant on humans, a habit which can be fatal.
Between 2001 and 2005, more than 100 wild monkeys were run over
on the roads while waiting for humans who would feed them.

Feeding leads to a baby boom, too, with the population surging as they
spend less time foraging for food in the forests and more time engaging
in breeding activities.

The following week, I based my Sunday strip on the report above.
Soon, NParks contacted me to inquire if they could use the cartoon
in their parks and I said okay.

This is how the poster turned out:

When NParks asked what token they should give me for my service,
I excitedly asked for a horde of monkeys as payment.

Imagine! I can attach faux wings on them, put on my impersonation
of that delirious Wicked Witch of the West (from The Wizard of Oz),
and scream like a banshee,"Now, fly! Fly! Bring me that girl
her slippers! Fly! Fly! Fly!"

But, alas, it wasn't meant to be. Monkeys cannot be used as currency.
In the end, I asked for a donation and received a cheque of S$150,
which I have forwarded to my cause.

So, thank you, NParks, for helping Thien Nhan.

Prediction: Future Joy #09

The in-vehicle unit can detect when a driver uses a non hands-free
mobile phone while driving, and relay the misdeed to the
Traffic Police HQ electronically. The fear of getting demerit points
will thus deter dangerous driving.

Singapore One

[Published on 6 Feb, 1998]
Singapore One is a fibre-optic cable system that lets users go shopping,
play games, watch a movie, make travel plans or
borrow a book,
among other things, all from their computers
at home.
With the right equipment, users can... on the telly
For those without a computer, they can use their television to access the Internet.

...remote control applicances
They can use the computer to turn on their favourite TV channel or
dim the lights. Or use a touch screen display to regulate the room temperature. video conferencing
Office executives can talk to colleagues overseas, students can have online tuition
and working parents can keep an eye on their kids at home.

Prediction: Future Joy #08

With enough desalination plants, water shortage is history.

Auckland blackouts

[Published on 23 Feb, 1998]

Residents faced evacuation, businesses were closing and tens of millions
of dollars were being lost as the heart of Auckland, New Zealand's biggest
city, remained gripped by the slow-motion collapse of its power grid.

Electricity supply authorities say it will be at least a week before power
is restored to the Central Business District (CBD).

Businesses have been told to close for a week or relocate if they do not
have their own power generators, and residents have been told to find
alternative accommodation.

Emergency services have issued a number of announcements telling food
premises to close, residents to throw away thawed food and people to
stay out of the CBD.

Prediction: Future Joy #07

HBD's upgrading programme installs one lift on every floor.
Next phase: Soundproof flats...